Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rage at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

“Remember,” by Christina Rossetti:

Remember me when I am gone away,
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more day by day.
You tell me of our future that you plann’d:
Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad.

If I have the gift of prophecy and with full knowledge, comprehend all mysteries, if I have faith great enough to move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give everything I have to feed the poor and hand over my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient; love is kind. Love is not jealous, it does not put on airs, it is not snobbish. Love is never rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not prone to anger; neither does it brood over injuries. Love does not rejoice in what is wrong but rejoices with the truth. There is no limit to love’s forbearance, to its trust, its hope, its power to endure.
My knowledge is imperfect now; then I shall know even as I am known. There are in the end three things that last: faith, hope, and love, and the greatest of these is love.

Candle ceremony
Through God’s light and love, your paths have crossed. I ask that each of you take a lighted candle representing your previous pathways. Now together, light the central candle, symbolizing your oneness in life which will be lighted by God’s Love as it blesses, inspires, and guides you. As the central candle is lighted, each of you will extinguish your single candle to indicate your oneness.

From the symbolic action of lighting one candle from two, leaving but one light, you now acknowledge the union of your two souls becoming one in the sight of God.

TONI: Robert and Sylvia, You have chosen each other as partners in life’s journey. Are you ready to make this commitment? If so, please respond I DO to the following questions..
TONI: Robert, Do you come here today, with love in your heart and with a conscious desire to be united in marriage, with Sylvia? Do you promise to share the responsibility for growth and enrichment of your life together and to give to Sylvia all the loving support she needs to become the person she is destined to be. (I Do.)
Toni: Sylvia, Do you come here today with love in your heart and with a conscious desire to be united in marriage with Robert? Do you promise to share the responsibility for growth and enrichment of your life together and to give to Robert all the loving support he needs to become the person he is destined to be. (I Do.)
I now invite you to exchange rings and make your vows to one another
These shining and eternal circles are the natural symbols for enduring love. The substance from which they are made represent both purity and great value, just as the love you share.
Robert, as you place the ring on Sylvia’s hand, please repeat after me. Sylvia, I love you as no other. // All that I am, // I will share with you. // This ring I give you, // as a sign of my love and commitment to you.// I take you now to be my wife. //
Sylvia, as you place the ring on Robert’s hand, please repeat after me;
Robert, I love you as no other// All that I am, I share with you// This ring I give you. // as a sign of my love and commitment to you. //I take you now to be my husband.//

Sand Ceremony
Today you have chosen to use the blending of sand to represent the joining of your lives and your families. So- as you each hold your sand – the separate containers represent your separate lives to this moment; individual and unique. Marriage is the joining of two lives, the mystical, physical, and emotional union of two people who have had separate families, histories, and separate destinies. It is the merging not only of two persons, and two personalities, but also of two life stories. And with this marriage comes the blending of families. So, I now ask you – Robert and Sylvia and your children Ashley, Serena and Matthew to combine your sand together and thus tell the world that you are ready to join your lives together as one family.
CLOSING BLESSING: Let Us Pray:
At this moment as you are about to begin your life together as husband and wife, and as a new blended family. I give thanks for the opportunity to bless you Robert, Sylvia, Ashley, Serena and Matthew. I know that faith filled prayers carry great power.
So, in my mind’s eye, I now see you, as God knows you to be, –happy, peaceful, whole, free, fulfilled, prosperous and ever radiating the love you all are.
May your home and your times together always radiate an atmosphere of love, well-being and unity – so that all who see you may be blessed and inspired by the harmony and joy that you all share.
I thank God that a greater love is assured in this world because of the commitment you have made here today. And so I say, Thank you, Robert. Thank you, Sylvia. Thank you God. Amen.
PROUNOUNCEMENT-AND NOW I recognize with full awareness that only a couple can administer the sacrament of marriage to each other; and only a couple can sanctify it. Neither my church, nor any power vested in me by the state, can grant me authority to declare what only two hearts can declare and what only two souls can make real.
So now, in as much as you, Robert and you, Sylvia have announced the truths that are already written in your hearts, and have declared the same in the presence of God, I observe joyfully that you have declared yourselves to be husband and wife.
You may kiss the bride, Congratulations
Mr. & Mrs Robert and Sylvia Etters

Popular secular music for a funeral or memorial service

Often nostalgic, reflecting the life of the person by or for whom the title was suggested):
• Aquarius: Let the Sun Shine In (Fifth Dimensions, from Hair—nostalgic)
• Ain’t No Mountain High Enough (Diana Ross). But listen also to Marvin Gaye’s version
• All You Need Is Love (The Beatles)
• Aloha ‘Oe (The Brothers Cazimero, Hawaiian)
• Amazing Grace (Judy Collins, one of many versions available)
• American Pie (Don McLean)
• And When I Die (Blood Sweat & Tears)
• Angel (Sarah McLachlan)
• Annie (John Denver)
• Ashokan Farewell (Jay Ungar And Molly Mason –this is the beautiful song played on the PBS Civil War series)
• Autumn Leaves (Roger Williams Version). See also the versions by Eva Cassidy (from the beautiful album Songbird) and Eric Clapton
• Bang the Drum Slowly (Emmylou Harris)
• Big Rock Candy Mountain (Harry McClintock)
• Blackbird as performed by Sarah McLachlan. Listen also to renditions by Sarah Darling and Paul McCartney
• Bridge Over Troubled Water (Simon & Garfunkel)
• Bright Sunshiny Day (I Can See Clearly Now) (Jimmy Cliff). I like this version from the film “Cool Runnings”
• California Dreamin’ (The Mamas and the Papas)
• Candle in the Wind (Elton John, written and performed for Princess Di)
• Come on Up to the House (Tom Waits)
• A Day Without Rain (Enya)
• Death Is Not The End (Bob Dylan)
• Death Letter Blues (Son House, blues)
• Deliver Me (Sarah Brightman)
• Do You Hear What I Hear? (Andy Williams). Listen also to versions by The Harry Simeone Choir |
• An Ending (Brian Eno, ethereal instrumental)
• Falling in Love Again • (Marlene Dietrich, nostalgic)
• Fields of Gold (Eva Cassidy)
• 500 Miles (Roseanne Cash)
• Fly (Celine Dion)
• Funeral for a Friend/​Love Lies Bleeding (Elton John)
• The Gift You Are (John Denver)
• Good Day Sunshine (The Beatles)
• Good Riddance (Time of your Life) (Green Day)
• Go Rest High on That Mountain (Vince Gill)
• Greensleeves (The King’s Singers) and another classic version, Julianne Baird & Ronn McFarlane singing to a lute song
• Here Comes the Sun (The Beatles, from Abbey Road)
• Hey Jude (Paul McCartney). See other versions, including Best of the Beatles
• I Can See Clearly Now (Bright Sunshiny Day) (Jimmy Cliff). I like this version from the film “Cool Runnings”
• I Feel Like Going Home (Muddy Waters)
• I Heard It Through The Grapevine (Marvin Gaye, nostalgic)
• I’ll Be Missing You (Puff Daddy & Faith Evans)
• I’ll be seeing you (Frank Sinatra). Listen also to versions by Jo Stafford and Billie Holliday
• I’ll Fly Away (Etta James). Listen to quite different versions by Gillian Welch
• Imagine (John Lennon)
• In Dead Earnest (humorous song performed by Arlo Guthrie and Pete Seeger, to lyrics by Lee Hays)
• I Will Always Love You (Whitney Houston)
• • I Will Remember You (Sarah McLachlan)
• Joy To The World (Three Dog Night, upbeat rock, great for recessional)
• Just One Of Those Things (Frank Sinatra); listen also to renditions by Ella Fitzgerald and Doris Day
• Ka Makani Ka’ili Aloha (Hawaiian, The Brothers Cazimero). See versions by many others.
• Keep Me in Your Heart (Warren Zevon)
• Leaving On A Jet Plane (John Denver)
• Let It Be (Paul McCartney)
• The Long and Winding Road (Paul McCartney)
• Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds (The Beatles, nostalgia). Listen also to Elton John
• Many Rivers to Cross (Jimmy Cliff)
• May It Be (Enya
• Memory (Barbra Streisand). Listen also to the version from Cats (with the cast from the Andrew Lloyd Weber musical)
• Moon River (Johnny Mercer’s song from Breakfast at Tiffany’s).
• My Way (Frank Sinatra)
• Only Time (Enya)
• The Porpoise Song (The Monkees)
• The Prayer (Celine Dion and Andrea Bocelli)
• Rocky Mountain High (John Denver)
• Scent of a Woman Tango (Por Una Cabeza) (John Williams, Itzhak Perlman)
• See That My Grave Is Kept Clean (Blind Lemon Jefferson, blues)
• Shebeg & Shemor (Moonrakers, traditional Irish waltz)
• She’s Gone (Daryl Hall & John Oates )
• Slipped Away (Avril Lavigne)
• Somewhere (Barbra Streisand)
• Somewhere Over the Rainbow (Judy Garland’s version) is classic, but be sure to listen to Israel Kamakawiwo’ole’s marvelous Somewhere Over The Rainbow/​What A Wonderful World .
• Spring Will Be A Little Late This Year (Ella Fitzgerald, but many others sing this nostalgic song)
• Stop All the Clocks (W.H. Auden’s poem set to music by Nemo Shaw, downloadable at Songs of Grief and Loss
• Take Me Home, Country Roads (John Denver)
• Tears in Heaven (Eric Clapton, after the death of his son, who fell from window)
• They Can’t Take That Away from Me (Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong), but you may prefer Frank Sinatra’s version
• Those Were the Days (Mary Hopkins)
• Till There Was You (Barbara Cook with Robert Preston)
• Time to Say Goodbye (Con Te Partiro) (Sarah Brightman and Andrea Bocelli)
• Turn, Turn, Turn (To Everything There Is a Season) (The Byrds)
• Unchained (Johnny Cash)
• Vincent (Starry, Starry Night) (Don McLean, from the album • American Pie
• Wayfaring Stranger (Eva Cassidy)
• The Way We Were (Barbra Streisand)
• We’ll Meet Again (Vera Lynn). That’s the original, and Johnny Cash’s versionis good in a different way.
• When The Saints Go Marching In (Louis Armstrong)
• Where Have All the Flowers Gone (Peter, Paul and Mary, from the album The Very Best of Peter, Paul and Mary
• What a Wonderful World (Louis Armstrong)
• Wind Beneath My Wings (Bette Midler)
• The Wings That Fly Us Home (John Denver)
• With A Little Help From My Friends
• You’ll Never Walk Alone (Renée Fleming, from “Carousel”)

Romans 8:14-23
14 For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. 15 For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the spirit of sonship. When we cry, “Abba! Father!” 16 it is the Spirit himself bearing witness with our spirit that we are children of God, 17 and if children, then heirs, heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him. 18 I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. 19 For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God; 20 for the creation was subjected to futility, not of its own will but by the will of him who subjected it in hope; 21 because the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to decay and obtain the glorious liberty of the children of God. 22 We know that the whole creation has been groaning in travail together until now; 23 and not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the first fruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies.

Romans 8:3l-39
31 What then shall we say to this? If God is for us, who is against us? 32 He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, will he not also give us all things with him? 33 Who shall bring any charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies; 34 who is to condemn? Is it Christ Jesus, who died, yes, who was raised from the dead, who is at the right hand of God, who indeed intercedes for us? 35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? 36 As it is written, “For thy sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.” 37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am sure that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, 39 nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 14:7-9
7 None of us lives to himself, and none of us dies to himself. 8 If we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord; so then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord’s. 9 For to this end Christ died and lived again, that he might be Lord both of the dead and of the living

I Corinthians 15:20-23
20 But in fact Christ has been raised from the dead, the first fruits of those who have fallen asleep. 21 For as by a man came death, by a man has come also the resurrection of the dead. 22 For as in Adam all die, so also in Christ shall all be made alive. 23 But each in his own order: Christ the first fruits, then at his coming those who belong to Christ

I Corinthians 15:51-57
51 Lo! I tell you a mystery. We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed, 52 in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised imperishable, and we shall be changed. 53 For this perishable nature must put on the imperishable, and this mortal nature must put on immortality. 54 When the perishable puts on the imperishable, and the mortal puts on immortality, then shall come to pass the saying that is written: “Death is swallowed up in victory.” 55 “O death, where is thy victory? O death, where is thy sting?” 56 The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. 57 But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

2 Corinthians 5:1
1 For we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens.

Philippians 3:20-21
20 But our commonwealth is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, 21 who will change our lowly body to be like his glorious body, by the power which enables him even to subject all things to himself.

2 Timothy 2:8-13
8 Remember Jesus Christ, risen from the dead, descended from David, as preached in my gospel, 9 the gospel for which I am suffering and wearing fetters like a criminal. But the word of God is not fettered. 10 Therefore I endure everything for the sake of the elect, that they also may obtain salvation in Christ Jesus with its eternal glory. 11 The saying is sure: If we have died with him, we shall also live with him; 12 if we endure, we shall also reign with him; if we deny him, he also will deny us; 13 if we are faithless, he remains faithful–for he cannot deny himself.

1 John 3:1-2
1 That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we have looked upon and touched with our hands, concerning the word of life– 2 the life was made manifest, and we saw it, and testify to it, and proclaim to you the eternal life which was with the Father and was made manifest to us—

Revelation 21:1-5
1 Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth; for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. 2 And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband; 3 and I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling of God is with men. He will dwell with them, and they shall be his people, and God himself will be with them; 4 he will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning nor crying nor pain any more, for the former things have passed away.”

Do not stand at my grave and forever weep.
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn’s rain.
When you awaken in the morning’s hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and forever cry.
I am not there. I did not die.
___________________________________

Dr. Ernest Holmes SOM 389 – 1

…speaking on the subject of immortality

“And so we prepare not to die, but to live.

The thought of death should slip from our consciousness altogether; and when this great event of the soul takes place, it should be beautiful, sublime.

As the eagle, freed from its cage, soars to its native heights, so the soul, freed from the home of heavy flesh, will rise and return unto its Father’s house, naked and unafraid.

A poem Dr. Holmes then wrote to end the chapter

‘WHEN DEATH SHALL COME

AND THE SPIRIT, FREED, SHALL MOUNT THE AIR,

AND WANDER AFAR IN THAT GREAT NO-WHERE,

IT SHALL GO AS IT CAME,

FREED FROM SORROW, SIN AND SHAME,

AND NAKED AND BARE, TROUGH THE UPPER AIR

SHALL GO ALONE TO THAT GREAT NO-WHERE

HINDER NOT ITS ONWARD WAY,

GRIEVE NOT O’ER ITS FORM OF CLAY,

FOR THE SPIRIT, FREED NOW FROM CLOD,

SHALL GO ALONE TO MEET ITS GOD.

___________________________________

Funeral Poems for Mom — Mother – Grandmother

She is Gone
You can shed tears that she is gone
Or you can smile because she has lived
You can close your eyes and pray that she will come back
Or you can open your eyes and see all that she has left
Your heart can be empty because you can’t see her
Or you can be full of the love that you shared
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday
You can remember her and only that she is gone
Or you can cherish her memory and let it live on
You can cry and close your mind,
be empty and turn your back
Or you can do what she would want:
smile, open your eyes, love and go on.
David Harkins

Reading – “All Return Again,” by Ralph Waldo Emerson

It is the secret of the world that all things subsist and do not

die, but only retire a little from sight and afterwards return again.

Nothing is dead; men feign themselves dead, and endure mock funerals

and mournful obituaries, and there they stand looking out of the

window, sound and well, in some new strange disguise. Jesus is not

dead; he is very well alive; nor John, nor Paul, nor Mahomet, nor

Aristotle; at times we believe we have seen them all, and could

easily tell the names under which they go.

 “Peace my heart,” by Rabindarnath Tagore

Peace, my heart, let the time for the parting be sweet.

Let it not be a death but completeness.

Let love melt into memory and pain into songs.

Let the flight through the sky end in the folding of the wings over the nest.

Let the last touch of your hands be gentle like the flower of the night.

Stand still, O Beautiful End, for a moment, and say your last words in silence.

I bow to you and hold up my lamp to light you on your way.

Toni was also an ambassador for Oneness – through her affiliations with the Oneness University as well as through New Thought and United Centers for Spiritual Living – both organizations recognize and stand for “a world that works for everyone” – and see all paths that lead to God as good.

Toni was a life-long learner always mindful that she was cause to any effect in life and gently teaching that to everyone. She was a pre-eminent spiritual teacher, first by her example and also by her words. She had the ability to synthesize often complex teachings to make them accessible to all. She was a student of Universal Truth, World Religions and Ancient Wisdom. Because of her work and words, the world is no longer suffering from illusions of separation – especially those caused in the name of God, Church and Religion.

Toni spent her life sharing herself – her time, her talent and her treasure. She was deeply committed to Literacy, believing that education and reading opened doors for a more fulfilled life for all. As a speaker and writer of numerous best-selling books, she captivated the minds and hearts of millions of people who found both comfort and clarity in her words. There are millions of people today whose lives have been changed because they heard or read something Dr. Toni once said.

She was a person who truly lived the Namaste principle – seeing the Divine in all and actually calling it forth in others.

She will be missed by her soul-mate, her life partner and best friend but he knows that their relationship is a multi-life experience and so it continues. The works they have begun worldwide are all in able hands. She has truly left a legacy that keeps on giving and continues to end suffering in the lives of individuals and organizations.

A master communicator, ever the synthesizer of Truth, her heart-felt messages will live on. Her energy is timeless and we are grateful.